She's sexy and she knows it.

I have been missing my cat a lot lately, so the following post is dedicated to her. Hopefully it will make you come to love her as much as I do. Enjoy.

Once upon a time in my 12th year of life, I decided that it was time to get another cat. I was just recovering from the death of my last one and was finally ready for a new one. I really wanted to get a kitten, but my mom encouraged me to look at the county shelters and the Humane Society first. So I did. And I found this sexy animal:

I saw her photo online on some Adopt-a-Pet website and fell in love. (She looked much thinner than she does now and in the above photo. The years have not been good to her figure.) So the next day, we all shuffled on over to the animal shelter to meet her in the flesh. They brought her out from her cage and let us fawn over her in the lobby. Immediately it became evident that this cat had problems. There was a fake bamboo tree in the lobby that she promptly proceeded to rake savagely with her front claws. And when she wasn't racing about the room acting neurotic, she was meowing constantly. But it wasn't just your occasional friendly "Meow" it was more along the lines of "meowmeowmeowmeowmeowmeow" Yea. You could say it was rather annoying. But my 12 -year -old self was sold. My mom was slightly concerned, but she conceded nonetheless. So I gathered her up in my arms, paid the woman at the shelter my hard earned $40 and took my precious little cat home.
Now I'm not going to lie and say all was smooth sailing after that. It most certainly wasn't. We had our rough spots, yes. There was the time she thought my leather beanbag was a glorified litterbox made just for her. And oh the fury when my unsuspecting brother plopped himself down in it, thoroughly soiling his pants and underwear. That was a dark day.
But we love her despite her problems. Well, my sister and I do at least. Truly though, she has come a long way.
My sister even worships her now and it pleases her (the cat) greatly.

Just kidding. This photo was posed. But still, do you see how happy she is? It's as if she's thinking "At last they are treating me as I deserve." She thinks she deserves a lot of things.
Anyway, we moved. That's when we met Elvis. He is fat, huge, gray and fluffy. He's also a cat. Her and Elvis do not get along. They have fights. They go into each others yard's and harass one another. They screech loudly at each another.
It is very entertaining.
My cat has a special sound she makes that is reserved only for Elvis. I call it the "Elvis Howl". It is quite possibly the worst sound I have ever heard. The first time I heard it, I came running down the stairs, sure that I would find her writhing in pain, her innards squirting all over the floor. But no, she was perfectly fine. She was sitting in the window, gazing at Elvis, who was prancing about our yard and fully aware of the anguish he was causing her. This face-off between the two of them has since become a frequent occurrence.

Here they are staring at each other.

But lately, their friendly mutual hatred has gotten more violent. My dad has had to intervene a few times by getting the hose and dousing them with it. Quite the diplomat he is.
But I think they are secretly in love. They're just both too shy to show it.

So that's her in a nutshell. Isn't she great?