The events of the eve of Christmas.

       My winter break was glorious. I miss it dearly. It was also highly entertaining. On Christmas Eve, my sister and I decided to shake things up a bit and rather than lounge about the house like sacks of flour all morning, we decided to go for a run around the middle school track. Seems innocent enough right? I slapped on some random clothes and tied my shoes and then began the long process of awaiting my sister's readiness, which consisted of periodically shouting up the stairs and occasionally threatening departure. I don't know who she expected to see out on the streets of Reno Christmas Eve morning, but there was clearly somebody.

      At last, she finished. We moseyed on over to the track and began running laps. We walked the last lap to cool down. So there we were, two naive girls, getting their exercise on a beautifully wholesome Christmas Eve morning when suddenly to our great surprise we heard the roar of a dirt bike coming down the street. I turned my happy little head to see who else was enjoying the crisp Christmas Eve air and saw two boys, one driving and another clutching to his back. Immediately upon eye contact, the rear rider shouted an indistinguishable obscenity and then he flipped me the birdy. 

Yes. I was flipped off on Christmas Eve. 

Was I offended? Why yes, yes I was. But I was also slightly amazed that I of all people, had the rare opportunity of being flipped off on the eve of the most magical day of the year. A true honor indeed.

         I don't even have the slightest notion of what could have possibly triggered such anger in the boy. Perhaps he was offended by my choice of clothing? Or maybe it was my choice to exercise on Christmas Eve? Who knows. All I know is that I was flipped off on Christmas Eve. 

Definitely a story for posterity.

         When we got back, my sister decided to take the longest shower in the history of mankind. I waited for a good 40 minutes for the water from her shower to shut off, but it never did. I decided that it was bound to turn off soon, so I might as well just get in now. Well, it didn't turn off soon. Only a precious 5 minutes had passed when the water pouring from my shower head turned to icy death. I nearly had a heart attack, but managed to suffer through the iciness to finish my bathing ritual. But my sister was not so determined. Upon the onset of the icy death, she immediately turned off her water and resolved to sit in the bathroom until the warm water returned. 

          Well, it took a long time for it to come back.

  A very long time.

          She began to call out to me, begging me to bring her the Harry Potter 7 book to relieve her boredom. I laughed for a long time and then refused, leaving her with the wisdom to "suck it up." She began entreating other members of the family to fulfill her request, but was met with similar responses. Although my dad didn't bring her the book, he brought her another kind of entertainment. He put his head to the bathroom door and began to sing to her "I'll be stinky for Christmas, you can count on that....I'll be clean for Christmas, if only in my dreams!" 

It was pretty great.

           That evening, we had our traditional Christmas Eve Program, which consists of various Christmas songs being either played on the piano or sung by the kids of the family. It was going well up until my sister sang the last song of the program, "Mary, Did You Know?". As she sang this beautiful song, the room became unusually quiet and for a moment, we seemed like a normal family.

She sang the last climactic line "The sleeping child you're holding is the Great, I Am!" We all were smiling pleasantly, preparing to ensue with the customary clapping when suddenly the silence was rent with a powerful fart from my youngest brother. The shock of it made us forget to applaud. Mouths agape, we stared at him, awaiting an explanation.

"My butt clapped-ed!" he proudly proclaimed. 

So that sufficed as the final applause for the evening. 

        Well, I could go on, but this is already quite lengthy, for a blog post anyway. So, I love my family and Christmas break is a beautiful thing.

The end.
Oh, and this video brought me Christmas cheer. 
P.S- The end of it is the funniest part.