The Car Diaries: Part 2

Well, it's official now. The deed is done. I signed all of the papers and this little car is officially my child.

Joy. 

I can't even tell you how drastically the level of my anxiety has risen since I brought this little baby home and parked it in my driveway. But everyone I tell that to thinks I'm crazy, like buying a car should be some kind of joyous experience or something. And I guess it is, in some ways. And I guess I should let myself be happier about it. But this is a whole lot of responsibility! And I don't think I'm ready for this level of commitment!

But it doesn't matter because I signed the papers. And there is also the small matter of needing a car to drive to work everyday, because the beloved minivan (mentioned in this post) experienced major mechanical difficulties and was no longer able to complete the task.

I am so afraid I made the wrong decision! What if I bought myself a piece of crap car and now I will have to spend the rest of my life slaving to pay the debts of its medical bills? Ack! I can feel my heart beating irregularly already. (That's what my heart does when I am experiencing abnormally high levels of anxiety.)

Last night as I was driving home and imagining all of the things that could go wrong, and all of the upkeep I probably should start doing this very instant, and the tires I will need to buy (so much money for hunks of rubber!), and the new brakes and the oil changes, and yada yada yada, I had a thought occur to me. The thought was that I made a commitment to this car, and that commitment means that I will do what it takes to take care of it. Simple as that. I will bear the load. Willingly. I will drag it to mechanic shops. I will fill it with gas. I will wash the bird poop off of it with love and gratitude in my heart.

When you think about it, buying a car is a lot like marriage. It's a giant leap of faith. Some relationships have more problems than others. Some relationships break up before they can ever really get started. There's lots of maintenance required, and sometimes you wonder what you've gotten yourself into. But in the end, you made a commitment. You have a responsibility to each other. And that's enough to keep you going.

And, just like in marriage, it's important for me remember all of the good reasons that led me to make this decision. Because there are lots of them, but they can be easy to forget. It's all about remembering.

Remembering how cute we are together doesn't hurt either. ;)

*Disclaimer: I am not married.